Story So Far………..
🦉Owl of O.W.L. has been getting ready for the Big Battle by taking some time out to recharge in his hammock at an undisclosed location. 🌳🍹
Taking on the Capo dei Capi di Inferno🔥♨️🔞 requires claws of steel, fresh ocular acuity and insight, and cunning brain-box plotting. His 270 degree head swivel has also needed some physio.
In short, Owl’s a bit of a wreck……. so he says.
🦉🦉But the Joint Chiefs of O.W.L. The Owlettes (temporary according to Owl) know their star covert operative very well and don’t believe a word of it! They’ve been on his case since his return from capturing P-Hootiy and L-Hootiy (the former Ex-Tsar Rat) the twin Eurasian Eagle Owls in league to take over the Wood, and P’s cross-species daughter the White Gyrfalcon Poppy P-Hootiyeva, the CEO of the P-Hootiy Nut Cartel.
The Owlettes
Left: Eurasian Eagle Owl in threat posture; Right: Morepork Owl
L-Hootiy, P-Hootiy’s interchangeable twin bro, in drag as Ex-Tsar Rat
White Gyrfalcon Poppy (Polina Olga Pheodora P-Hootiyeva) and Avatars
Owl’s gift of a Fabergé Egg from the Ex-Tsarina’s bathroom seemed to gratify The Owlettes for a while, but now they’re pushing for him to do some boring stuff – arrange supplies, plan logistics, organise back-up and develop a foolproof plan to take down Horny and the Big One Capo ‘Lucy’ Lucifer. They’re joking that it needs to be foolproof against Owl himself!
Tsarina of Russia’s Fabergé Eggs
Because Horny Owl, the infamous Great Horned Owl, has reared his ugly head again. He’s festering to get out of Hell🔥♨️🔞 obscurity with his lover Ponzi the Cat Owl, P-Hootiy’s other cross-species daughter from another mother. He’s itching to get back to relevance again and spring P-Hootiy and Poppy from captivity so he can get a cut of the P-Hootiy Nut Cartel.
Horny The Great Horned Owl in all his garish glory
‘Lucy’ Lucifer with headlights on
(Image: De Tomaso reveals P72 supercar at goodwood festival)
Mood Board of Avatars of ‘Ponzi’ P-Hootiyeva (alias Purr-fecta Paloma Mossack Fonseca Buenaventura de Arroyo), Mistress of Disguise
🔔To cap it all off, Little Owl Belle Époque, Owl’s long-suffering mate, has been nudging him with her beak to take care of the owlets while she has a mini-break in the South Seas. Owl has a lot on but he just wants to lie in his hammock, fly aimlessly and sit and stare at the moon.
Owl’s mate: Little Owl (Athene noctua)
Avatars of The Little Owl, Owl’s mate
Left: Paul Helleu “Mademoiselle Vaughan”, 1905 (France, Post-Impressionism, 20th cent.) Paul Helleu was a Belle Epoque artist (1859 -1927).
Right: 1897ca – Folies- Bergere La Loie Fuller artist Jules Cheret
Motivation is hard to come
by, but there’s an incentive being dangled in front of him…….
Owl and the Moon: vishnu vijayan from Pixabay
The Owlettes have offered him a bonus if he saves the Wood and nets its main strategic adversaries. As Owl is the top covert operative of O.W.L. already, any bonus would have to be substantial, so substantial in fact that Owl has BIG $ signs blinking in his large globes.
But no, something even more enticing has been dangled like a fat juicy rat in front of him by The Owlettes:
Fat Rat by Phraggle on DeviantArt phraggle.deviantart.com
The Director-Generalship of O.W.L. (Owl Woo Woo unLimited) itself!!
Owl has long wanted to run the sh*t-show that is O.W.L. since Brown Owl turned traitor and now cracks rocks in the Great Plain of Hooting. He knows that The Owlettes, with their former legend as his scooby-doo-wah-hoo-hoo back-up singers, are better as field operatives rather than in admin. They were his minders when he was a legendary jazz hooter working for O.W.L. secret intelligence, and rescued him when he got into trouble trouble-shooting for The Firm (which was frequently!). He enjoyed their rude banter, but now they’re his bosses they’re no fun anymore. He thinks it’s brought out an unattractive bossy streak in them. On the other hand, The Owlettes know Owl is an unreconstructed chauvinist owl who liked taking all the credit for the success of the missions.
Avatar of Disgraced Brown Owl, ex-D-G of O.W.L. turned traitor to the Wood; Image: 1920’s Flapper
The Owlettes: What say you, Owl? If you pull this gig off, you can run the show. Will that perk you up?
Owl (suspiciously): Mmmm, tempting. But why? You enjoy your power trip, don’t you? Bossing me around and trying to discipline me? Don’t tell me you’re waving the white flag! This sounds like a set- up to me. Is there some clusterfluck thingee of yours you want me to take the fall for?
The Owlettes: No, not at all! We just enjoy the field more. It’s also lifestyle thing. We want to spend more time in Costa Rica at our spread. We won’t be your back-up singers anymore though, but if you run into trouble we might deign to rescue you if you stop with the “ladies” and “girlies”. Remember, however, that if you don’t stop, the Parish Council of the Wood will re-appoint us, Deal?
Avatars of The Owlettes when Owl’s back-up singers
Owl: Deal, mesdames.
Owl (to self): Mmm, that’s a 270 degree turnaround! I wonder if being D-G of O.W.L. is a poisoned chalice? I’ll consult the Oracle. Wait, that’s me!!
Oracle Owl
Owl to Oracle: I have a query.
Fake Oracle to Owl : What is it, my boy?
Soviet Robot Posters
Owl: Cut the crap! It’s ME, Owl, the star covert operative of O.W.L. (Owl Woo Woo unLimited) ! I don’t get fooled by amateurs! Get lost!
I need a plan. I always need a plan but I never follow it. What am I going to do with all my prisoners when I capture them? Let’s see, there’s P-Hootiy and the Ex-Tsar Rat, his twin L-H$$ty (“The Loot”), of course. I can give them to the AI ZEL in the Lost-About-To-Be-Regained Paradise to keep watch over 24/7.
ZEL Lensky and The Lost-About-To-Be-Regained Paradise
But P-Hootiy is an escapologist. How to stop them from escaping custody again?
I know! These guardians could be skilled in the art of magical combat and could be enchanted with spells to prevent any physical attacks against them.
They could use a magical chain that binds P-Hootiy & L-H$$tiy to a specific location. The chain could be enchanted to grow stronger the further they try to move away from their location, making it impossible for them to escape. It’s the old fingertrap trick.
Zel & Co. could use a powerful curse to prevent P-Hootiy et al. from escaping. This curse could be tied to a specific location, making it impossible for him to leave the area without suffering extreme physical pain or other negative consequences.
He could create a magical illusion that makes P-Hootiy & L-H$$tiy believe they have already escaped. This illusion could be so convincing that P-Hootiy & “The Loot” believe they are free and don’t attempt to escape again.
He could enchant the walls of their cell with a spell that prevents any form of teleportation or magical transportation. This would make it impossible for them to use any magical means to escape from custody.
I’ve thought of everything!
But Owl hasn’t quite…..
Owl’s ideas courtesy of ChatBot GPT–4
Next Time: Owl plans the capture of ‘Lucy’ Lucifer, Horny, the Great Horned Owl, and Ponzi the Cat-Owl from Hell🔥♨️🔞!
Venezia flame-feathered Colombina mask from the Commoedia Del’Arte
Pamela is a New Zealand consultant, founder of Sky Canopy Consulting, a writer, a geopolitical satirist, researcher, analyst and synthesiser, with a Masters in Conflict and Terrorism Studies from the University of Auckland. She has been around long enough on this planet to be a former lawyer, psychotherapist and executive coach.
She loves owls, masks, ballet, black cats, hot air balloons, witches and wizards, Shakespeare, metaphors, memes, magical realism, hypnosis, reading, history, walking around lakes, living by the sea, carnivals, carousels, circuses, tango, Fiat cars, surrealism, Mozart, opera, dragons, cheongsams, sky rockets, turkish delight, spider brooches, mosaics, museums, hot baths, beer, red wine, bedtime stories, Christmases, holidays, native birds and their habitats, riding on her broomstick and travelling in her imagination.
👁All images used are from Wikipedia, Pixabay, Pexels and Pinterest under a Creative Commons Licence.
Ukrainian owl painting by Olena Skytsiuk
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